Walking through the city (and suburbs) you see some interesting people. One of my favorite past times actually is people watching. What I didn't expect with the latest session of people watching *in the year 2010* was to come across what I did...
There are still people out there with tails in their hair? REALLY? I understand in remote areas of the country we could still find sightings of the "Mullet". This sort of thing, however, is ever elusive to the metropolitan cities of recent years. You can imagine my surprise when I saw an actual real live sighting of "THE CORPORATE TAIL". I couldn't believe it. Surely we have evolved as a society that this hair appendage has recessed into the hairline, no longer to be seen on the modern Homo sapien! Astonished, and flabbergasted I stared a good ten minutes at this gentleman - all dressed in a perfectly normal business suit - as he walked down the street with an otherwise tailored hair cut, and this long hair tail swooshing in the wind behind him. Man, bad move dude. What ever interview you are going to, they aren't going to hire you because "Management is restructuring". Sorry to be the bearer of bad news buddy. The days of business up front and party in the back have LONG GONE. Get with the program.
Then there was the interesting man with the dirty, rusty, grass covered lawnmower hanging out of the back of his trunk. Driving along in his old school '89 Buick, blissfully unaware of his absurdity, with his shining low profile rims and tires maintaining the car at the lowest possible level so as to ensure maximum pavement scraping with each bump. What the hell is he doing with a dirty old lawnmower jutting out of the back of this ghetto mobile?, I ask myself. Does he have a dirty lawnmower fetish?, is this one of the fifty other dirty lawnmowers he has hidden in a secret storage container stash? Is he an altruistic soul who randomly mows others lawns because he can't stand the site of an un-manicured lawn - 'THE LONE MOWER MAN'? Maybe a disgruntled landscaping person? What's the possibility that he may actually pull over and start mowing the median strip, just because it's far too overgrown to his impeccable standards of lawn maintenance? A plethora of ideas are flowing to explain this phenomena...
Then there is the person I saw jogging on my way to the coffee shop this morning. This person had taken the front of their sleeveless t-shirt and twisted the bottom of it (creating a tube) to then insert it into the collar, pulling it through to the bottom of the shirt. In conjunction with this they were sporting quite possibly the shortest shorts I have ever seen on a middle aged person. Thus creating a bikini top from the original sleeveless t-shirt (which was perfectly normal to begin with), and daisy duke bottoms to match. Now, if they had an affinity for Pamela Anderson and wanted to do their best impression - it was a sad non-performance. I really feel compelled to send a question into the universe regarding this eyesore...
Dear person: Was there some reason that you felt turning your shirt into a hooters t-shirt was appropriate for the 9 AM jog you were taking this Monday morning? I mean, I commend your ability to put yourself out there, and let the world take in your visual... but your appearance was a little off-putting to see at 9 AM when my coffee had barely set in. Thanks for the comedic relief, but I think that relief could have been better timed at like, oh I don't know, 4 PM. I almost need an Irish coffee for that visual risque jogging person.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, in my perfect universe everyone would be a eunuch or a department store dummy. In that world there are no weird body parts left to the imagination, or exposed for that matter.
Asexual African frogs are cool too.