My identity crisis

I'm sitting here trying to think of a blog post, it's getting down to the wire to be posted within my own set of self imposed rules - so I'm sort of panicking.  That emotion, of course for me, is quickly followed by self doubt.  

Do I even have anything interesting to write about?
What do I write about?
At which angle/ perspective do I write the topics of the blog post?
Do I even have an angle?
Do I write about me?  Someone else?  
Am I offensive?  Not offensive enough?
Angles seem fancy... I'm not fancy.
Should I be fancy?, fancier perhaps?
Am I my fancy enough to say I am worthy of an angle?  Or even slightly intriguing?
Do people think I'm a toolbox?
I suck.
My writing is bull poop.
I'm a toolbox, not fancy, and should just stop writing.
Nobody cares about my worthless dribble.
WTF.  Sigh.  ::goes pee::  I want Unagi and a sake jar.
Now my hands and brain hurt from thinking about how NOT fancy and non-glamorous my writing is.  Poop.
And I'm SUPER hungry now.

Nothing, just typing and filling space with nothing here.  

So here I sit, with no answer to my identity crisis... and nothing to write about except my identity crisis.  
I'm feeling so narcissistic.  I'm going to go kiss my bathroom mirror so I feel loved.