Strapless Bras

Can we please find a strapless bra that doesn't immediately accelerate my body's age from 35 to 85?  I swear, either I have been living under a rock for the last 10 years, or someone still hasn't invented a strapless bra for small chested women that will actually look good and not flatten the little we have, even more so.  Where this item should be accentuating by lifting and compressing, it's pressing down on the natural lift, and separating in a scissor like maneuver.  Ooooh... SEXY.  I'll be the belle of the ball at the retirement home.

If you're really going to tell me, oh universe, that this material based augmentation and support has not been invented yet -- well, that's just crap. What does that mean for the rest of us?  Those of us that are not comfortable without a little extra oomph? 

Am I resorting to a lifetime of strapped dresses due to my inability to find this wardrobe holy grail thereby rendering strapless dresses to die and fossilize along with the dinosaurs? 
Am I looking at a breast augmentation just because I can't find the right bra?
Shall I just start dressing like a Unik with no real distinguishable female characteristics?
What does a Unik dress like?
Am I a Unik?

Anyways, I'm seriously ticked off about this.  I have this perfectly cute Target sun dress, which happens to have a super cute navy blue lacy trim to it... but alas, it's visual is less than appealing due to the sagging ta-ta factor.  All because of an ill equipped and ill fitted strapless bra.  Sigh.