1) How to successfully be a hermit in a neighborhood full of friendly people.
2) That walking your kids to school doesn't compensate for being antisocial. Nor does it equal BEING social. You actually have to TALK to people, and look them in the eye. Dang. Must remember that.
3) Boring people to death with your incessant self involved dribble of woes everyday is really not as intriguing (or interesting) as you think it is. The glazed over look really IS a sign of disinterest. No it's not just my imagination.
4) The more I pluck, the more I have to pluck.
5) I hate plucking.
6) Spiders suck. No, really. I hate those little blood sucking demons. If I'm so convinced that I can eradicate all the spiders on my property, while I am at it, I might as well take on Global Warming.
7) Children's birthday parties scare me.
8) Vinegar is amazing. I can literally do everything with it... wash floors, clean windows, sanitize toothbrushes... I can make intricate patterned lace doilies of snowflakes out of vinegar, man... that stuff is crazy whack! Just kidding. Sort of.
9) There is a benefit to sleep loss, you end up REALLY chill. You just can't give a crap anymore because your body is literally shutting down. So I have that going for me... which is nice.
10) WTH is the point of the "Do not call" list if they call you anyway? Even after you're on the list, they STILL call you... and you call them back selecting the option not to be called back. Then they still call you. Then you get a friggin auto dialer voice with some computer chuckling at your enraged response to the auto dialer ignoring your request to stop calling. This happens 4 times. Seriously.
11) I want to know how to make an auto dialer virus. They're going down, baby.
12) I have internalized anger issues.
13) I actually like "Bubble Guppies". I know. I am shamed.
2) That walking your kids to school doesn't compensate for being antisocial. Nor does it equal BEING social. You actually have to TALK to people, and look them in the eye. Dang. Must remember that.
3) Boring people to death with your incessant self involved dribble of woes everyday is really not as intriguing (or interesting) as you think it is. The glazed over look really IS a sign of disinterest. No it's not just my imagination.
4) The more I pluck, the more I have to pluck.
5) I hate plucking.
6) Spiders suck. No, really. I hate those little blood sucking demons. If I'm so convinced that I can eradicate all the spiders on my property, while I am at it, I might as well take on Global Warming.
7) Children's birthday parties scare me.
8) Vinegar is amazing. I can literally do everything with it... wash floors, clean windows, sanitize toothbrushes... I can make intricate patterned lace doilies of snowflakes out of vinegar, man... that stuff is crazy whack! Just kidding. Sort of.
9) There is a benefit to sleep loss, you end up REALLY chill. You just can't give a crap anymore because your body is literally shutting down. So I have that going for me... which is nice.
10) WTH is the point of the "Do not call" list if they call you anyway? Even after you're on the list, they STILL call you... and you call them back selecting the option not to be called back. Then they still call you. Then you get a friggin auto dialer voice with some computer chuckling at your enraged response to the auto dialer ignoring your request to stop calling. This happens 4 times. Seriously.
11) I want to know how to make an auto dialer virus. They're going down, baby.
12) I have internalized anger issues.
13) I actually like "Bubble Guppies". I know. I am shamed.
Pretty sure you make eye contact...the thing is you always look so good I'm probably not looking at your eyes!
ReplyDeleteI have to add that murderous clowns scare the crap out of me...especially the ones in the sewers.
See, now I'm just afraid of all those baby alligators in the sewers. Murderous clowns? Nah, they're wussies.
ReplyDelete